Same day......another year

another year has rolled around, and it's August 23 once again...but it's okay. as each year comes and goes the dates trigger memories, some great, some horrific, some bittersweet......today it's 7 years since Devin was diagnosed with cancer. don't freak out, i'm not gonna go into detail, or rant, i did that last year :) but it is one of those days in my mind i doubt i'll ever forget. but the reality is, every year i can't help but remember the life altering change that came over our family, over me as a person and mama. but i must confess it's nice to be able to face the day without feeling like a truckload of depression is sitting on my chest suffocating me, or the urge to burrow into my covers and sleep the day away therefore fast forwarding it, although i must be honest and admit there was alot of bittersweet moments and a curiosity of wondering how the view would be from here had things been different. but most importantly i love looking back and saying wow!! 7 years!! and we made it!! there were many days i remember thinking, seriously?? i can't imagine getting to the one month mark than one year, and now.....7 years!! i think one of the biggest revelations to me, (and this is probably shedding some light on my weak faith) is realizing that INDEED my God was there all along, guiding me, wrapping me in His arms patiently by my side through every step of the dealing and healing process, through the hurt, confusion, anger, depression, the letting go of the blueprint i thought perfect for my life and letting Him re-draw the entire thing. i shouldn't be amazed, that is who He said He is, what He promised He would do, but somehow i still am, and it blesses me all over again to know that no matter what's ahead, He got it in His hands. theres another song i usedto sing to Devin, on our long sleepless hospital stays, i tried googling it but had no luck, but it goes something like this: it's really dark and cold tonight, and i'm tired and all alone, there seems no ray of hope in sight, oh, Lord, why did uou ever make night. chorus: i made the night so you would trust in me, i made the night so you would place your hand in mine, i made the night so in the early morning, you could see my sun/Son rise and shine! now as i place my trust in you, i can see the first rays of light, and i know that you are with me, oh Lord, i'm so glad you made night! on another note, my firstborn Brandon, turns 14 tomorrow!! thats another unforgettable date, the first birth, the joy of a miracle of life, so small and dependant placed in your arms.....that day thinking of him celebrating his 14th birthday seemed light years away....well here it is, and i thank God for this precious manchild, he has brought so much joy into our lives, and has handled life and it's unexpected bumps with grace.