Monday January 13, 2014..... woke up today remembering 7 years ago when grief was still very fresh on our minds from burying Devin and getting an unexpected phone call saying my dear mother in law had passed away in her sleep, 3 months to the day after Devin died. Well, today was another goodbye, my dear grandma, 6months and 1day after her heart attack the angels carried her home. she will be greatly missed....I had the blessing of sitting with her and caring for her quite a few times the last 6 months, I always came away so glad I went even though there were days that I thought there were plenty of other things I should get done. I realize more and more it doesn't matter the age or situation the more goodbyes you say seems the harder it gets. although I've also realized that the more you watch them suffer the more you find yourself ready to release them to Jesus even though you know the pain of grief and missing them is gonna follow. I was so blessed to be there when grandma took her last breath. her room was filled with many of her children and their spouses, and a few grandchildren, someone was constantly holding her hand, there was love and tears and laughter and peace and caring and singing and hugs and angels and Jesus. as she was taking her last breath there was smiles and hallelujah she's with Jesus and she's pain free while the tears flowed and the missing her already started. but......none of us would wish her back, back to pain and brokenness, and confinement to her small corner of her house, back to dependence on others and sitting, sleeping, eating, repeating. yes there will be days when we long for one more of grandmas kisses.....(a couple of us granddaughters were talking one day about how she had the sweetest and best kisses, she'd take your face in her hands and kiss your cheek and say I love you, always made me feel treasured) one more time of her telling us she was praying, there will be times her children will wish to hear her voice one more time, or drive by and see her at the kitchen table, or hear her sweet voice singing. (just one week ago when I sat with her during sunday morning she was singing each step I take and it was beautiful) but.....in spite of all the times we'll long for her, when we think of her hand in hand again with grandpa after 11 years, reunited with her parents and her siblings and her grand and great grandchildren, singing with the angels, seeing Jesus, free from pain and tears....when we think of all that then the thought of wanting her back is never an option and we realize we hold each other pick up the pieces and journey on. one of the last times I sat with her she was snoozing a lot and the one time she awoke she said you know I keep thinking maybe this time when I go to sleep ill wake up in heaven! Well grandma you got your wish!! I say what a way to start out the new year!!! Grandma you will be missed so much but I thank you for loving us all and for being a true Christian example! yes we'll have many more tears, but its because we have loved and we feel the tearing apart but its ok its cleansing and a tiny start toward moving on, picking up, piecing together, not forgetting...never forgetting....but healing, going forward!! We love you Grandma!!
viewing 2-4pm and 6-8pm Friday January 17,2014 and funeral 10am January 18,2014
both events held at Blue Ridge Mennonite Church, Carlisle, Pa.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts of connections of your grandma's and Devin's passing. I'm sure you never get over that kind of thing. I enjoyed reading some of your other posts too. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteRuthE