There Are Royal Days

so there is this little thought that keeps going through my mind this week, and it's not something that's necessarily new and yet it's the first that it seems my feeble little mind is fully grasping it and actually allowing it to take root and grow. kinda like those new bulbs my dear hubby so excitedly planted last year than forgot about and is now ecstatic to witness the fruits of his labor taking root and poking through the mud reaching towards the light, yup I'd say that's kind of how this thought is for me, I'm breaking through the murky doubty soil and seeing the light dawning and the new growth feels amazing, and in my heart of hearts I know to get to this awakening there has been a lot of transplanting and pruning and dying and rebirth and the whole process has been dirty and messy and downright trembly and torturous at times but every day with a little more strength and shaky confidence I'm finding myself being able to look in the mirror and smile and say, yes, You, Janette, are the PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!!!!!
there are many days I fail in reaching out to others, fail to send that note of encouragement, drop a hello I'm praying, fail to deliver that needed meal...... many days I fail my husband fail to respect and honor and buildup... fail my kids, to cheer on, praise, lift up, pray for them.... many days I lose my temper, my patience, I yell instead of speak softly and gently. but at the end of the day as I come before my Heavenly Father I hear Him say with a smile, it's ok dear girl, you are the PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!! and tomorrow is a new day!
there are many days that sadness of life crowds in, taking over my sonshine, many days my head is all about myself filled with pity, and why me? why my son being taken so young, when so many don't even want theirs? many days I can't focus beyond my own world and the hurt that life has dealt, and the anger of a life not as I wish it would have been takes over my thoughts, and I rant and fume and stomp my feet and shake my fist......but at the end of those exhausting days as I lay down hanging my head in shame, I hear my Heavenly father whisper, rest easy my girl, nothing you have ever done can make me unchoose you or remove your portrait from my royal family album, you will always be priceless to me, I never keep track of and remember your forgiven indiscrepincys, sins, or shortcomings, i'll always love you unconditionally! and then He lifts my head, looks into my eyes and tenderly whispers, for you will always be to me the PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!! and tomorrow is a new day!
and then there are days where I rush headlong into the day and I forget to stop and pray, to soak up the word of God, to sit and be still. I run around doing all sorts of things and yet a whole lot of nothing. my priorities are all askew and things that are so not important take precedence over everything of utmost importance. the family goes without clean laundry, the meals thrown together and the dust bunnies threatened to run us outta house and home. kids get rushed out the door to school barely making it on time, and that night I wonder what was accomplished  and feel like a total mother and wife failure, but still there's a whisper, YOU ARE THE PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!!!! and tomorrow is a new day!!
there are many days when the devil brings about thoughts from days gone by, choices that were less than perfect, wrongs and failures, regrets and grudges and throws them in my face and stirs up the doubts of forgiveness and heart set, free made new in Christ, and my mind stumbles and questions and doubts but  at the end of those teary, begging yet again for forgiveness and acceptance that gentle voice comes to me and assures, your mine always, THE PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!!! and tomorrow is a new day!
there are many days I live in dissatisfaction of who I am. I loathe my size, my waist Is non existent, and the shelf out the back needs a caution triangle or as we called them growing up and now seems so appropriate "fanny flags"! I feel fat and grumpy cause young and thin feels forever gone, and fat, sassy and happy is so over rated, bra size is embarrassing and finding clothes to fit and be modest without claiming title of bag lady is next to impossible, and the fire one could start with the thigh rubbage, oh my!! and then theirs the stomach hangover and stretch marks that never quite fade from pregnancy, birthing, C-sections, weight gain and just aging in general. and the double chin, and arm flab accented by flashes of yellow teeth and pale skin. but every day I'm beginning to see myself a little more as being beautiful, cause I've been hearing this tender repeating, to me you are a masterpiece, I have created you, you are as you are because this is who I desire you to be, and because of my blessings to you in the form of your most priceless heaven sent gifts, your children!! and whats more important than any of this is that you smile and you shine for me no matter what, because to me you will always be the PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!! and tomorrow is a new day!
and there are days when fear and worry over any number of things crowd in, looming large, threatening to bury me with the weight of it!! when trust is all but gone and God seems so small and extremely long distant!! days when it's not that I forget to pray but I just can't, when it seems to exhausting, to difficult and even a bit worthless! days when I question when I'm even on God's radar. days I wonder if it's worth it and will I ever be strong enough. and days when I wonder if I ever had faith at all. and then at the end of the day peace that only comes from above washes over and I hear, head up my girl, your still the PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!! and tomorrows a new day!
and there are days when relationships are to hard and overwhelming and messy, days when who you perceived as friends are judgmental, hurtful, and betraying. when the hurt and broken and alone are so thick and many around you, you feel swallowed up in the helplessness and hurting of it all. days when your family feels unwanting of you and rejectful, when your friends feel far away and unreachable, when church feels like a ritual waste instead of enriching worship, but then there's His voice saying, I am all you need, and you are the PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS!! CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!! and tomorrow is a new day!!!
there are days I wonder if I learnt anything through our trials and sorrows and tears. days I wonder if there is surely not more to life than this?!! days I question whether we are where were meant to be or what if were being called out somewhere different and were not tuning in enough to hear, to get it. and then I hear, I know the plans I have for you, a hope and a future, and I know you are THE PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS!! CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!! and tomorrow is a new day!!
I know this is life, I am human, there will be more of, THESE DAYS!! but as I go to bed tonight, it's with a lite, peaceful, joy filled heart knowing in Him I'm who I'm meant to be, because of Him I'm perfectly beautiful!! I'm chosen, wanted, loved, valued, beautiful and perfect in every way cause this who my heavenly father has called and created me to be!! and in the end it's not what I see through mine or anyone elses glasses that matters!! I'M THE PORTRAIT OF A PRINCESS, I'M THE CHOSEN DAUGHTER OF THE KING!!! I'M ROYALTY!! And that's something to celebrate and dance about!!!!!!