For Such A Time As This

So I left my last post in peace!! A strange, other worldly cocoon of tranquility in spite of the major unknown, glaringly looming front and center in my life! the Bible verse, Peace, which passes all understanding took on a whole new meaning!! there is hardly words to describe the okay-ness I felt in my heart, that what ever the biopsy showed, I knew I would be fine, I knew with a certainty beyond my power, down into my very core, that whatever I was handed in this detour of our life, it was already being handled, already being carried by my Father. I felt the calm, and support of being surrounded by prayer warriors, of my family, my dearest friends and their families, by our church body and pew sisters. I had friends and family across the globe, lifting me and my uncertain future up to our Father, interceding on my behalf for peace and calm and healing and for a miracle, for the doctors and technicians and clear readings and diagnosis. That all being said, I myself, could not find the strength to utter a prayer bigger than, Father, or God please, or a middle of the night Jesus........but, still there was a calm and peace because I knew it was already in His hands, and because I knew every precious person that was handpicked by my God, for me, was praying me through, carrying me through this, each was given to me for such a time as this! Prayer is real people!! each of us carrying the other, coming along side the other, is real and powerful and a very priceless precious gift given to us by our Father, our God, for our health and well being, to cushion our path of life, to help us fly when our wings are broken, to help us sing when our song is silenced, to give us a voice when ours stutters and shakes, for sunshine in our gray season, for rain in our drought...... FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!!!! I remember vividly going through those first fearful, suffocating days and weeks after Devin's cancer diagnosis, a friend, asked how I was really doing with everything, and wondered how I was holding up, and I said, I'm so numb I can't even pray, and her reply was, a hug, along with some of the most precious words I ever was given, she said, Janette, it's ok, you need to rest, and focus on Devin, that's what the rest of us are here for, to pick up this burden to big to carry alone, to help you hold your head  and hands up when your to weary to lift them, to pray for you, for Devin, for the docs. this whole situation when you just. can't. even! those words, I think of them often, they were not given to me to use as an excuse to get out of prayer, but they were comfort and release from stressing out in trying to perform in prayer cause its the right thing to do, or because its what we were taught or because its what's expected of us, and the lie of, if you don't, then your not truly Christian, or God honoring, or that God will disown you if you don't. here is where the words, His mercies are new every morning, become extra beautiful and most meaningful, because, every day we get the gift of waking to a new day , another breath is a new day given to us by Him to wipe the slate clean, start a new, to reach out to Him and grab His hand and gather the strength and courage to take one more feeble step forward, to take one more shaky moment by moment day holding onto the promise that His ever faithfulness and love will see us through, He doesn't promise us easy, and pain free, but He does promise He is never leaving us and His promises are rock solid and eternal!! Prayer is the right thing, and it is truly powerful, and God does hear every one big or small, and God does long for our communication with him regularly, but, He also gets it when we just. can't. even!! His word says, He, our Father, hears every moan and groan His children manage to pass through their weakened trembling lips, sometimes those moans and groans are silent screams for help and rescue, He hears every single one of those too!! He understands our time outs to the fullest. He longs that we don't stay there in those dry desert places, but He gets it when we hopelessly find ourselves there, and He won't ever stomp a foot in rage and walk away in a tempered huff, when we end up there, when we find ourselves down trodden, dejected, out of steam, no energy left to lift one weary foot in front of the other, when our hands hang limply by our side, our eyes struggle to focus forward and our hearts feel torn and ragged and barely beating, when we question if He even hears us or knows where we are or cares about our existence, even then, He won't leave us to our own demise, He won't throw in the towel and label us worthless or helpless.  He will give us those precious souls though, that come alongside us and give us the green light, the permission, to be ok to not being ok, who will then wrap us up in the assurance that while we're out for the count, they, and an army of other believers, fellow soldiers of God, pew sisters and soul sisters and family are there, and committed to picking up the burden and sharing the load and interceding in communion with our Father on our behalf!! He will, bless us with, though seemingly small and unnoticeable, or hard to find at times, those little signs of Himself, through nature or encouraging words and even strangers passing by, or those little miracles, the ones you know where there's more often than not someone saying, that was just a coincidence, or chance.....hmmm...no I think not, cause, my Father, loves to do just that, give us little miracle gifts everyday, if we look up and focus on Him.
so biopsy day rolls around and once again dear Beth has the kids and dear Paula goes with. I was told that I should arrive 5 minutes early to sign in and then I'd be taken right back for the procedure. We got there more like 10 minutes early got myself signed in and then, we waited, for about 20 minutes. Nurse comes out and calls me back and says that P isn't allowed back because they decided to do another ultrasound before they start the biopsy. so again, I'm watching the tech do the ultrasound and thinking to myself it looks a bit different than week before, but, well, I'm not the expert here, what do I know. so she does her thing for a few minutes then says, I need to go show these to the doc. and talk to him I'll be back, and so, I wait.in a few minutes, probably a good bit less than it seemed, the doc and tech nurse came back in, the doc, a warm kindhearted, soft spoken elderly man with snow white hair and a genuinely caring smile, was a man of tasteful bed side manners and so polite, you could tell to him woman were to be cherished and cared for and if all young men would model their conduct after him, chivalry would very much be alive and thriving!! anyway, Dr. Lampton, came over to me and shook my hand laying the other on my shoulder and smiling said, good morning Mrs. Diem, then he paused and still holding my hand and shoulder, says, we decided to take a new ultrasound this morning for a fresh look before we start the procedure, and well, sometimes it's a difference in techs, or the way they do the pics, or the thoroughness, ( to me it all seemed the same as the previous week, I know I'm not the professional) or it could be, well, and here he stops, and the nurse is staring at him the entire time, well, I guess what I'm trying to say is, more stumbling and trying to get his words, well, what I'm not seeing in comparing to last weeks pics, I just don't think it would be wise to proceed with today, see, I'm not seeing what was there last week......at this point I said, Doc, are you telling me that the dark shadowy problem spots are gone??? YES!! YES!! he said in a relieved breathy voice. there is nothing there, and it would be foolish for us to go through with the biopsy procedure just in case, there is no need to do anything just because it was initially scheduled! I laughed, shakily, and said, THANKYOU JESUS!! I'm gonna chalk this up to the power of prayer!!! and then, him and his nurse both let out a big breath and their faces, it was amazing, you could see the relief! and it hit me right then, that all his trying to find the words to tell me was a result of seeing firsthand the awesomeness of a miracle, the healing touch of our Great God, but then also the mixed feelings of how do we tell our patient without breaking rules, or offending or crossing a line, but once I claimed God's hand in this miracle, recognized my Father's power, it gave them an open door, the ok to both say emphatically, AMEN!! the nurse touched my shoulder and said, absolutely, this is answered prayer, there's truth in that!! the doc. said, Amen, I believe in every word!! and Mrs. Diem, we are sending you home, your done here, we'll see you in 6 months, but you have  a wonderful rest of your day, and tell your people and your church to keep up the work, there is power there!! and again the nurse said, AMEN!! they went out to let me get dressed and be on my way and I couldn't stop my shaky smile, but I also felt like a limp noodle and went through the motions of dressing without really seeing what I was doing, I so believed and yet it seemed like a dream that me, I was given this awesome miracle. I walked out to the lobby and P looked up and was like, you done already? I said, they didn't do it! she said, what?? is it gone?? I was like, you, it's gone, there's nothing there!!!! then we cried and laughed and hugged each other and entertained an elderly gentleman staring at us as if we were from another planet, and looked at him and laughed and P said we're just celebrating a miracle, and he still stared rather dumbfounded and she hugged me again and said  I told you everything was gonna be fine!! (see this is where, you let your friends do the praying and believing for you, cause from the beginning she kept telling me it was all going to be fine, but I just. couldn't. even!!) ;)  so, we get to the car and she says, we need to get the girls cause B's dad is in the hospital and she needs to go, we didn't tell you cause we didn't want you to worry........God loves us so much He gives us amazing friends!! so we get to B's pick up our girls and take hers with us to and proceed to follow each other to a beautiful little French bakery to celebrate with crepes and macaroons and we praised God at high volumes and couldn't stop smiling, the sky looked bluer, the sunshine brighter, the world happier, life newer, my Wile family camping was that weekend and I was able to enjoy it fully, maybe even more so this year cause everyone seemed a bit more precious to me with the renewed knowledge that none of us knows if we get another moment together, or where our journey will take us or end!! it was such a surreal, amazing feeling to know that My own God gave me something so glorious, it's one of those things that you hear about or read about, but to actually be the one that it was given to felt overwhelming, I was afraid I wouldn't do His blessing me justice, in thankfulness, and honoring of Him, or sharing His love, and power, and yet it all felt very sacred and Holy at the same time, I wanted to just quietly bask in it awhile!! meanwhile B's family was in the midst of hospitals and docs and tests and finding her dad was having heart issues and in need of a bypass and on a journey to receive a miracle of His own, with a successful bypass after dealing with heart issues some unknowingly for a maybe a year so. one day I took b and her mom to Hershey to spend the day with her dad and we stepped out of his room for a bit and they said they would love to visit the children's wing and meet my "people" so we did. it's always such a blessing to go back and see Devin's nurses and docs. it's like coming home to family, they greet you with hugs and remembering, and they are thrilled to see you every time! I got to hug nurse H, and social worker, Mr. G, and chat for quite awhile with nurse L, who with tears told me she has our picture hanging on her board at home where she can see and pray for us everyday!!! that is beautiful to me, it's been almost 10 years since Devin's death, and we're still being carried through this journey by those who so lovingly cared for him!! I got to share with her and nurse J about my miracle and there was celebrating and while nurse J was hugging me and rejoicing in my news we were remembering our angels that had miracles throughout their journey, we were talking about Devin and Maddie and Nurse Janiece and suddenly there was a soft fluttery breeze blowing over our heads and we all just stopped and nurse J said, something like, see, they are right here with us, they are sharing in your good news.....and we all felt like we were touched a small bit by our angels watching over us. the feeling was angelicly reverent, goosebumpy in a good way, Nurse J was in awe and kept smiling, that's amazing she said, cause it's no coincidence, it's a heavenly power, cause there are no vents, fans, central air, open windows etc. in that little hallway. another dear friend, texted me when I sent her my news and said, you know your angel is watching over his mama, he can talk to God on your behalf! I don't know all the workings of the angels, but I do know His word says He gives us angels to guard us and keep us, and I do believe without a doubt that God moves and shows himself  to us in ways beyond our imagination, and to often I think we are quick to overlook even the smallest and simplest ways, and a lot of times we don't look hard enough or are just quick to discredit Him.
I don't ever want to, nor do I think I will, forget the healing blessing I was given, or hesitate to share God's power and love in that. but.....one thing that I soon found out was how quick the devil is right there trying to steal the show. how quickly he tries to take our eyes off the awesomeness of our creator and the blessings of our life and tries to trip us up with irritations, fear, discontent, bitterness, self loathing and all other manner of frustrations. and here is where we still need each other to come alongside and help us carry on, even after we receive the good news of a friends answered prayer in whatever way or situation, cause now that God our Father, the all powerful is getting glory and honor and praise, the devil is going to work overtime to try and take the stage and get us to shift focus. I am truly blessed with dear and precious friends and family and am sure I don't thank them near often enough for being there for me, but this last month has been a bit of a struggle to keep focus and remember to let my burdens and struggles and frustrations and fears in the Hands of the only one that has the power and control to give me peace and victory over them, but I am blessed to know that I have those souls out there gifted to my by my Father, that I can text or call or whatever and say hey, I need your prayers, and I can be confidant they got my back and are lifting my needs, loving me to Him. each one of us here on this earth, for each other, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS!!! whatever that may be! prayer and communication with our creator our Father is real and powerful, people! He does hear every word, silent or screamed!! He can heal our land!! He can heal our anxiety!! He can heal our bodies!! He can heal our relationships!! He can remove bitterness!! He can fix our finances!! He can find us work!! He can give us love and forgiveness for the unlovable, undeserving!! HE CAN!!! HE WILL!!! we need only keep our focus on His face, we need to commune with Him in fervent prayer, laying down our struggles, surrendering all to His loving, powerful control!! He hasn't promised easy, but He has promised to never leave us!!  He has blessed us with each other, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS, here's to coming alongside, weeping with the broken, carrying the faint, lifting the fallen, encouraging the weak, celebrating the new, rejoicing in miracles, speaking life, praising and worshipping our Great Creator!!