it's gonna shine!!

unlike today...6 years ago was cold, gray, and pouring down rain. one could have concluded the skies were in sympathy with the pain and sadness being experianced on earth. when i think of that day, i feel kinda like im looking in fishbowl....i can see some stuff in my minds eye, but alot of it is magnified yet extremely blurred, not much can i say i remember with stark clearness. i remember the last look, and how as i gazed at my son one last time i thought again of how peaceful he looked, and how it made me so happy to see him looking so much like himself, like he was just sleeping and having sweet dreams cause of the typical Devin smile on his face. i remember standing under umbrellas and tents and gazing into that nasty muddy hole and feeling panicky and wanting someone to please get me outta there and away from reality, and then being thankful all over agin that we made the descision to not watch them lower him in and cover him up, my mother heart could not stand the thought of watching and hearing cold, slimy, chunks of mud covering my 5 years of warm, snuggly, love. the service ended and we walked away....part of me screaming silently to run back and drop to my knees and claw away the earth and hold him one more time.......the part that i do remember with amazing clearness that brings me so much hope and comfort is the part of the service when the packed church house was singing one of his favorite songs, Heaven's Gonna Shine.....it was like God opened up space between Heaven and the service and we were all one, like the angels were in our midst singing with us, rejoicing through the pain, that Devin was home free, pain free........there was a heavenly hushed reverance even though the building was ringing with song.....we had so many people mention to us later how there was smiles and tears wherever they looked but there was peace and it sounded Heavenly......this song was Devin's favorite long before he got sick and it always made me smile when he'd say as were driving along, mom, turn it up, and don't sing along i can't hear then :) i dont wonder why it was anymore....i know he had a connection to it we'll probably never quite get this side of Heaven....i found it on you tube but not by the same group....enjoy it and be blessed....i know on that dreary day 6 years ago, there was sonshine in the midst of our pain............. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9nWNYTGiQY