Ma'am, ma'am, I turned from perusing the dairy case in our local Aldis to realize I was the sole occupant in that particular isle save for the slightly unkempt older gentleman piloting an electric grocery cart and it dawned on me that the gravelly voice came from him and the Ma'am was indeed directed to me. Ye-eeess?? I answered cautiously, slightly irritated that I was being interrupted and held up from my frantic, rush in and grab a few things, and scurry home to do absolutely not more than necessary, all day agenda with the bestie. almost simultaneously, as the irritation hit, the voices in my head and heart joined forces and gave me what for!!! I smiled and said, ummm, yes sir, is there something you needed??? His reply wasn't at all what I was expecting. Ma'am, could you buy me a couple rolls of paper towels? I only have food stamps and I can't get paper towels with food stamps and I'm all out and could really use some. Sure, I replied, I'm about to check out, but if you get what you need I'll take care of it. thank you , thank you so much, I got a couple other things to get yet than I'll be done too and with that he cruised off in his motor cart and I headed towards the cashier thinking, seriously, paper towels? I mean, you could just use towels, but then that would require detergent and appliances and well frankly from the appearance of the gentleman I highly doubted either was in his possession often. I went to the checkout and as the clerk, to whom I'd given a heads up that I was waiting on some paper towels from a gentleman, was finishing ringing up my last items he zoomed up beside me with 3 rolls of paper towels proclaiming, this is all, I got the rest!! ok, I said, as I handed him his bag, here ya go, you have a good day! He looked at me as he took the bags, thank you, thank you ma'am, I really appreciate this. sure!! I said, you have a good day, yet again, to which he replied, you too, as we both went our separate ways. as I loaded up my purchases into my vehicle I had to admire the fact that he didn't take advantage of my willingness to help him, he only had me get the paper towels, he didn't show up in line with paper towels plus a few other things that he suddenly needed, he didn't ask for cash and wonder off using it on something totally unnecessary, I really think he was a genuinely honest soul humbly asking for a helping hand. I wondered what his story was, what hard messy stuff he had to face in his life, what he had to endure, what choices he'd had to make wise or unwise in his life that got him here, how long it took to lay down his manly pride ask for help, how often he was tossed aside, rejected and judged for his situation, for even having to ask, then I felt sad and a bit teary and ashamed to think how briefly I almost chose to be one of those to stick my nose high and turn my back. I felt humbled to think of the many times I've felt like I'm not doing enough of service for my Jesus, thinking surely just housewife and mama ain't enough, and how it seems like almost no ministry at all, and then when reaching out and being hands and feet of Jesus presented itself in my own back yard and I almost trampled it into the mud and flounced on my way, instead of grabbing the opportunity with enthusiasm and brilliantly shining Jesus when I could.
wasn't long ago we had a Sunday school lesson having to do with angels. after my little meeting with the paper towel man I thought of the verse that speaks of entertaining angels unaware and I wondered how many times an angel has been put in my path and because of my frantic life pace, and tunnel vision or distracted scurrying I've overlooked them and missed out on glorifying my Father and receiving a blessing. I've tried over the last few years to consciously be about my public errands with a genuine smile and joyful greetings to those I pass or encounter and to make positive conversation and often pray about being the light of Jesus before I start out, there are so many out there with such pain and sullenness and hopeless countenance, it's always a blessing to just see a face light up with joy in that someone acknowledged their existence, even if a stranger.
on my way home I couldn't get paper towel guy off my mind and the voices in my heart and head had a chat with Jesus. I apologized for the initial frustrated and begrudging attitude I portrayed in helping one of His sons, then I thanked Him for giving me an answered prayer to being a light of His while I was out and about, for blessing me with means to be able to help out and give to another less fortunate, even if just paper towels!! I need to snatch these opportunities more and just "roll" with it!! :) I then thanked Him for His mercy and grace, and thought how a few short 19 years ago when Glen broke his back and I was told the likelihood of him ever walking again or even having movement from waist down again was slim to none, then with surgery and pins and bone grafting he walked, very stiffly and slowly, but......he walked out of that hospital 5 days later........when I saw paper towel guy....I saw what could have been my husband, what could have been my life, what if I was assigned a handicapped husband, what if I would have been assigned bread/paper towel winner and paraplegic caregiver, what if that chapter of our story wrote different, I/we could have been the ones humbly asking for another stranger soul to purchase our goods........
I'm more convinced then ever, that we all need someone!! everyone in this worn, negative, weary world we dwell in, no matter our status in society, wealth, business etc., we all need each other, whether it's to be a listening ear, a hand holder, an encourager, a top shelf reacher, a nose wiper, or a paper towel purchaser, we are all needy and needed!! Jesus please help us to hear your voice in our head and hearts the loudest, to tune into voice uninterrupted, to hear you well, and to grab willingly every moment with every child of yours you put into our path, to shine you brightest to the darkest places, to illuminate new paths for weary feet, to be your guiding light in each adventure!!
