Life Is A "Feat" Live Not In "Defeet"

2 years ago when I was almost 38 we were blessed with our 5th pregnancy, 4th living bundle of love. Having a baby when one is rapidly rounding a curve and about to slam headlong into the big 40 was not exactly how I envisioned my life. I mean lets be real, at that age bodily things are already headed south at high speed and pregnancy at a "normal" age does irreparable damage to ones girly youthful figure, so at almost 40, well, there ain't much left that doesn't droop, sag, creak, groan, or ache, all the time, every hour!! Not meaning to complain, really, just sayin how it really is! would I give her back?? absolutely never!! that being said, this doesn't help the fact that this last pregnancy in my old age has ruined my feet!! till the end of those 9 months these poor feet were carrying around an elephant and they were only made to bear the weight of a really small nimble, yet graceful doe! I mean I couldn't even find my feet the last 2 months, and when I actually hesitantly viewed myself in my floor length mirror I had to convince my self that was actually my legs with feet on the end and not logs, or stove pipes!!! needless to say, our Ava doll is almost 3 years old and these poor feet let me know everyday and most nights that they were overworked, overloaded and very much underpaid! I crawl outta bed for a middle of the night potty break (yes, this still happens even tho we're not pg!) and again to face a new day, and I can barely get them to move let alone hold me up, the killing ache and pain shooting through them is enough to drop one to their knees in agony, but once I get up and moving for a bit it eases up, yet doesn't totally leave so it makes a mama that's on her feet a good part of every day, feel like an rickety old wagon that's seen better days! and this mama has a hard time not letting the pain make her grumpy at times, even tho in her heart she knows it could be so much worse!
did you know, 2 almost 3 year olds are extremely active??!! well, they are!! and when daddys on the couch exhausted after a long day of work and big bro and sis are otherwise occupied with various activities and chores guess who gets called on to jump on the trampoline, and swing, and chase chickens, and play baseball, (yes, for some reason she has a passion for it, musta inherited her mamas love of the game, although she hasn't graduated beyond tennis rackets and soft fuzzy tennis balls)and ride bikes and find frogs and throw tires for cocoa??? MAMA!! Mama, pregnant 5 times and body outta whack, Mama, sore aching feet mama, is the chosen playmate!! so last night she begged and pleaded for mama to jump with her, and after walking around in pain most of the day with achy feet and screaming ankle I convinced her to jump while I watched from the swing and I would cheer her on and encourage her to jump higher and faster. periodically she'd spy a hen that flew the coop and would chase after it and finally squeal with delight when she caught it, and would hold it and love on it awhile before depositing it back inside the fence. at one point she came over to the swings and was swinging on her belly and we started talking about God and what He made, and she was pulling grass and said look mom, I'm pickin God's grass :) then she would go down the list of her people sayin God made, daddy, God made Brandon etc. then it changed to mom God made my trampoline :) I said well, yea kinda I guess, I mean He gave us the means to have one :) then outta the blue she very excitedly with much enthusiasm said mom, we need to go see Him!!! I said, go see who, God?? yeah, mom, we need to go see God!! and I thought, oh, honey child, if only!! you dear girl have no idea how wonderful that would be!! how some days the longing to "Go Home" is so very great!! I said Ava, do you know where God lives?? she said, huh??? I said God lives in heaven!! again, with a giggle, she says, huh, mom? heaven?? I said yup, way, way up high in the sky!! she just giggles and giggles and says, ooooooooo!! and the conversation ended as she squealed and ran off in hot persuit of another wayward hen! but.....I found myself feeling closer to God, and talking to him as I swang and drank in the sight of unending energy bouncing all over the yard on young swift happy little feet giggling over all things nature and wiggly and furry and feathered. by this time the darkness was closing in and another day was coming to an end and I called in my little whirlwind and told her it's time to go in and wash away the days dirt and dust. she bounced up and said I gonna run faster, I gonna beat you !! I gladly said sure you will, you run faster!! :) I proceeded to "walk" leisurely behind, waaayyy behind her, and as I walked, I was talking to God and I said, God, it would be awesome if you would take away this feet pain, if you would relieve me of it so I can be comfortable, so I can keep up with and enjoy this child and her energy, and, I know you have the power to do that if it's in my best interest, and as walked, each step got easier and with less pain until it wasn't totally gone but almost nonexistent!! I just started smiling like a crazy person and couldn't stop!! and potty break time and this morning my feet moved like a well oiled machine with only a tiny ankle ache!! then I thought back to miss Ava and my conversation about seeing God, and thought as much as we long to go see Him, do we take advantage of all the moments throughout our day when He makes himself visible?? she is in awe of every butterfly that comes along, and the birds she loves, she will carry around toads and frogs and talk to them, and I thought I need to make sure that when she spies these critters she seeing a glimpse of God! someone recently was lamenting the fact that this world has become so ugly, I disagree, the hearts and actions of souls in this world has become ugly, but, this world, God's beautiful created world is gorgeous and amazing! and we really only need to look around us, within inches of our eyesight at all times to discover something awesome and beautiful that exudes Him and His Glory!! it's amazing when we enter a child's world all we can learn, and so often in such simplicity and bold glaring truth! I want my baby girl to learn to look around her and see God! I want when she gets a longing to, Go See God, for her to know she only needs to look up and around and she will be able to not only see Him , but she can reach out and touch Him!! I want to learn myself, that I need to be more in tune, more ready to wash away the dirt and dust of life and lean on Him every second, to bring my aches and pains, my worries and fears, my anxiety's to Him daily, hourly, minute by minute, instead of letting them cripple me and take over my life!! I want to more consciously bring ALL to Him, the tiny, the huge, the mundane, the seemingly insignificant, the overwhelming, the good, the bad, the ugly, and more consciously strive to let it there, with HIM, it's the best place for it all anyway!! I want to live in each moment for Him, pausing to reach out and touch Him, looking around me to see Him, dwelling on the awesomeness of His world, and not drowning in the ugly!! living in peaceful victory, not in tormented de"feet"!!