Letting Go Of The Eraser

Life.......sometimes I wonder where time has gone. Those carefree days of childhood when all we thought about was playing and candy and sprinklers and fields of flowers. The teen years, when we knew it all and yet knew nothing, when we had life figured out yet really had no clue about life at all, when we knew what we wanted, how to get it and there wasn’t a person or thing gonna keep our dreams and reality’s from us. Those days of youth when all was friends, roses, new love, and even bigger hopes, dreams, and pie in the sky plans. Those days of romance, of courtship and proposals of planning and marrying and we had it all figured out, life was gonna be amazing, after all we loved each other with every fiber of our beings, nothing could come between us or change that, we had our lives together mapped out the way we wanted it go, our day to day planner was penciled in, each days i's dotted and t's crossed, we were in control and on a roll. One sunny day slipped into another, Mr. Diem's work going great paychecks are covering all and more, Mrs. Diem quits her job to prepare for the first little munchkin to fill their hearts and home, he arrives big and healthy and full of life and smiles, the new little family was perfect.....LIFE WAS GOING AS SCHEDULED AND PERFECT!!

And then one day we're Goliath, and like a stone between the eyes life as we know it is over......one minute your enjoying a summer bike ride with your family, the next your in the trauma unit hearing, Mrs. Diem.....we need to prepare you, more than likely your husband will never walk again......one minute your ecstatic over a positive pregnancy test, the next you discover that baby number 2 is gone before you ever get to meet them....one minute your enjoying your family of 3....the next a bomb drops outta the blue....Mr. And Mrs. Diem your son has cancer.....one minute your hopeful, sons in remission things look good....the next your told we're so sorry, but the cancers back...one minute you grab hold of all positives and fight to win......the next your informed regrettably there's nothing more we can do......one minute you whisper it's okay to go with the angels to Jesus......the next your handed a goodbye that you never imagined you'd ever have to live through......one minute your getting back from vacation.....the next your burying your mom in law......one minute a dear friends landscaping your home......the next he's tragically taken.....one minute your preparing for a date......the next your gazing in horror at your home going up in flames......one minute you have a grandpop....the next your standing at his graveside.....one minute your adjusting your mind that your family is over....the next your reading a positive pregnancy test, ten years after the last one!!

And so life goes on, and somewhere in the midst of all the valley journeys and mountaintop adventures you realize you need to take that perfectly penciled planner and wing it. Another Goliath moment hits ya between the eyes as you realize perhaps a little late that you are so not in control of your life, in fact life isn't even about you, and never was it meant to be. Life is about living for God, about honouring and praising and glorifying Him in all things even when it seems extreme, and ugly and sad. It's about knowing that God loves us and walks with us through these storms, it's about knowing He allows us to face the ugly and messy and heartbreaking, but He doesn't cause the evil, but He will faithfully pick us up and carry us through. And so i've come to realize Life is about taking our maps and planners and schedules and agendas and saying Father......this is what i've penciled in, this is my hopes and dreams, but in all this you know best what I need, so Father, I give you the eraser!!