Carry Me!!

This time of year i struggle extremely hard to put one foot in front of the other, i have to constantly remind myself there is something to smile about, and literally push each body part out of bed and be mobile and strong for the kids and hubby.......and with each mental urging of you can do this, keep going, be strong, my mind wars with it self saying but what if for just a little while i stop being strong? some days i think I'm so tired of being strong, i just want to curl up in a remote corner or under a nice rock somewhere and sleep and cry, and dig out long enough to slurp down a frappe' and bavarian cream filled doughnut and hide away again til i'm sure i'll be able to move because i want to not because i'm forcing myself to. (sorry i know to some it probably sounds like a kid with a tantrum, sorry but if ya never lost anyone close , ya just wouldn't get it, and thats ok :) but its in these moments when i feel myself being carried, and as hard as the days are and even though not much might still get done, it's always an amazingly peaceful feeling to know that know matter what i can rest my Heavenly Fathers arms and be carried over the rough spots. five years ago we were in the hospital with Devin and his little body was beginning to shut down and he was put on oxygen full time and one of the nurses came in and said we're so sorry there just is nothing more we can do, but keep him comfy as possible. He opened his beautiful eyes and said, mom i hope this stay isn't long, but the doctors and nurses are doing what they need to do! then he quietly said, i'm so sleepy i didn't have a very good night last night i'll just have a drink then rest awhile! And it was another one of those moments where you made yourself be strong for the Dear child laying there dying, you held him and smiled and sang cause he asked you to and you kept on. a few moments went by and opened his eyes again and said, dad, when are they gonna fix that road??? daddy says what road? and Devin says, the one over there, thats broken?? We stayed strong until he drifted back to sleep, then we sat and cried, knowing it wouldn't be much longer we would be blessed with the prescense of this precious son, feeling sure the broken road he was seeing was a gap in His path from earth to Heaven. it was in many moments like these when the poem... when you saw only one set of footprints it was then i carried you became very real. it was times like these whn a dear friend would call and say, hey, I love you. another would call and say I'm praying, and i would say good, cause right now i can't, and it would become real to me again that my God was truly lovingly carrying me! our paths may not always be easy but He never leaves us to find our way alone! I love knowing that whenever i get that i wanna hide unde a rock feeling, My Father quietly steps in and carries me!