anyway back to our topic at hand....friends of ours got together an evening of family, friends, and food....an evening to remember/celebrate Devin's 5 years of life with us and now 5 years an Angel. it was beautiful, they played his remembrance dvd, and we left chinese tissue paper lanterns off into the clear night sky, and even a few fireworks...but the best part of the whole evening was the being supported and loved by these dear people. people who were willing to "feel" and be "real" with us even though it might have required them getting emotional. my heart went out to those who don't have a loving Saviour to lean on in these hard times or no dear friends and family and are carrying all this sorrow and hurt alone...and i was thankful all over again for the blessings of these dear people in my life!!
so back to the rejoicing in remembering part, one of the things the last couple months that i have really been thinking about is how blessed we were to be allowed to say good-by to Devin. no loving parent would choose for their kids to die. it's the hardest thing in the world to be told its only a matter of time until they're gone, but we were so blessed to have the support of our doctors in our wish to take him home and keep him comfortable and enjoy him to the last breath. even though it was some of the hardest moments in our lives knowing it would be soon, we were blessed to be able to say our last i love yous and he heard and replied back, to have time for goodbyes, to whisper it's ok to run to Jesus. we didn't have to witness agonizing days and nights on end of painfilled crying and suffering and wasting away. one of our prayers when we found out it wouldn't be long was that we would not have to watch him suffer, and our prayers were answered, so we are blessed we can remember without the horror. this week i especially had to think how thankful we can be we had goodbys, there was a tragic farm accident in our area of a 19yr old boy ending in a gruesome death, and a friends father gone in a flash while hunting, my heart broke for those families that had no time for goodby, there world was changed with no warning.
when i think of only having our Devin for five years, it seems sometimes like what was the point?? what good was five years, but i know our world would have been missing a huge blessing, without him their would have been a ray of brilliant beautiful sunshine we would have never felt the warmth of, he left an impact on many people through his little 5 year life while sick and healthy. and i thought of my God creating someone so amazing and trusting us with his life.....even for only 5 years that was huge!! i can't imagine creating such an awesome masterpiece just to hand it over to someone you know is gonna take it for granted, mess up somewhere along the way while caring for it. so when i think of the way God showed His abundant love for me in trusting me with this beautiful soul He created just for US! I guess in all honesty.....even though some days are still hard.....i would have to say...Five years was enough!! i know if it was me creating something so amazing i would selfishly keep it all to myself, especially if i could know as God did that he was taking them from a perfect Heaven and giving them to imperfect humans in a very imperfect world!! Yes! life has been so hard at times but i'm blessed over and over!!
this song i just saw on another blog i follow:
and i had to share it here.....thought it was beautiful!!
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