Cancer Continued.........

January 18, 2019 day 1....1st post treatment day....I woke up feeling for the most part no different than any other day, except I now had a new regimen of oral at home meds to take at my morning and evening meals and a Neulasta injection box on my arm that gives an infection fighting medicine the next day through my arm, saving me an extra run to the cancer center for an injection, it's actually a very neat little blinky light box that is set to go off at a certain time the first evening after treatment, it runs in over a period of 45 minutes or so then squawks and flashes and ticks and beeps signaling it's starting and stopping and finished then I wait another 45 minutes till my bodies slurped up every drop then I can remove it until my next treatment and I get another one.

this morning started out with lots of Ava snuggles. we try to keep her in as normal mode as possible and in the loop that stuff is going on and things are happening with mom that's not fun and all that without putting to much scary or overwhelming into it for her, but kids are more in tune and aware than we give credit a lot of times and you can just tell she's feeling all the change and a bit more clingy and lovey even than normal and she's a very affectionate child. but, even the dog, and i'm not really a big dog fan but our Cocoa knows something isn't quite right and has become very protective and by my side to a fault loyal and watchful.

I was a bit more tired than the day before but mainly from the adrenaline rush of all things new and uncertain the day before and coming down off that, and because of the chemo regimen they gave through infusion on site has a steroid and so sleep was a bit outta my grasp and my body, specially my legs were a bit twitchy and restless, but thankfully no pain or nausea. My Beffy came and spent the day with me bringing lunch and gorgeous bright cheery fresh flower bouquet and chemo comfort goodies and girl time, catching up, just being here and watching a girly movie together, and giving my poor dog some much needed love and attention, it was all so special and so very long over due for both of us.  

after Beth left and I was chilling on the sofa, my dear Miranda person from around the corner stopped by with pure comfort and love in the form of a Latte and fresh box of macarons and of course hugs and lil Ollie smiles and snuggles!! it was a great first post treatment day and I feel beyond blessed with support and care and prayer and all the love!!! 

January 19, 2019 we had a laid back take it easy kind of day. it was good. dads stopped by with a delicious lemon cake and a short lovely visit. we had a nice long weekend with the family, no church due to weather, and that was fine, with all that's been going on it felt so good to just be with the hubby and kids and relax. 

January 22, 2019 you know those friendships that start in your teen years where you just click wih someone and they get your heart and soul and that relationship grows and sticks through the years even when you don't see each other for months or more and yet you know you can just pick right up where you left off and where you've both been through hard life stuff and it all just makes you more bound together and you know you can always count on that person for a listening non judgmental ear and open heart..... well years ago I met this good woman person of mine Maryann, and she hates to drive over mountains and valleys especially by herself but for me she did it and spent the day with me, that, is a true friend, to do for your bestie even tho it's out of your comfort, she brought a delightful lunch and extra meals for later and all the love and support and it was a fabuous day catching up and crying and laughing and just soaking up time together. and her and her dear Becky daughter made rice krispy duckys cause they just knew that miss Ava would be delighted and of course they were right she was so over the moon with them and couldn't get done looking and smiling!!

so my hair.....is thinning a bit....am having to for real think about how is this all gonna work, what's the next step, and yes, a they predicted, it's leaving me everywhere, soon i'll be as smooth as the day I entered this world, that's a bit weird, honestly.....hubby and I are trying to feel our way with the next steps in all this, praying for answers and I joined a triple negative breast cancer group and asked for advice on there and for tips and input and talked to my breast care navigator nurse........so many decisions to make we never really thought to far into.....but....am ending this post for now....will be back later for another one on all those decision answers etc.... blessings to all and many thanks for all that are walking this with us and praying and supporting, i'm sure there is any that have dropped messages and lines and notes and I'm not getting to personally thank and sometimes it can bug me so much cause I want everyone to know none of goes unnoticed and it's all so precious and meaningful and a simple thank you seems so little but, it's all I got at this point.

GOD IS IN HER, SHE WILL NOT FALL!