Surgery Consults.....so many facets to this cancer thing........

March 8, 2019 today was meet with Dr. P the Ovarian Surgeon! Miranda and her adorable side kick Oliver, chauffeured and Paula went along as my second set of ears and processor!! Mr. Oliver won over the receptionists and the nurses with one flash of his handsome smile, one of the gals even got down on the floor with him! I think he was the perfect ray of sunshine in a room full of souls wondering how to deal with all the hard unknowns of their diagnosis. the meeting with Dr. P went well, felt it a bit like it was all stuff we already talked about and decided on before, but that was with my Primary care Dr. not the actual surgeon, so it was good to know he has me on his radar and in hi schedule and after going over all the genetic implications and reiterating all the cancer treatment and protocol thus far he told us again what they would recommend and wondered how we were feeling about it all and if we have decided anything, and he agreed that our decision to remove the ovaries and then do double mastectomy was indeed the correct and perfect way to deal with this kind of genetic cancer. so, now we wait, its in the books to meet again in June after all the chemo treatment is done and then schedule the surgery. after we left we treated ourselves to lunch and girl talk then did a tiny bit of shopping before meandering around the mulberry bush to find a Ritas to stave off a craving only to get there and it was closed so we spied a Starbucks and donuts only to realize we have to go into Giant for the Starbucks and the donut place was also closed, so we gave in to going into Giant for our Starbucks and donuts, hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do for comfort munchies, yay, Giant for the win!!!!! it was great cause for lotsa laughs and making some crazy memories!!

after I got back home my girls wanted to go see and squeeze their new little cousin, Sophia and since I was feeling good and caffeinated as soon as Ava got off the bus we headed over to my brothers place!! aaahhhhh Sophia Faith, you are pure beautiful squishy perfection and the absolute cherry to top off my day!!! 

March 9, 2019 everyone went to work again today, so Miss Ava and I went to breakfast with Beth than did a couple errands before coming home and taking it easy!! was so good to feel up to catching up a bit with Beth and getting some much needed errands taken care of, but I could feel I'm not used to being up and around that much for that long and till I got home my legs were feeling a bit shaky and I was ready to nap!

March 10, 2019 yaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!! LaRonda got in early this morning and is around to stay, however, that means the wedding isn't that far away and stuff is getting real!! 

Wayne and Miriam came over this evening and treated us to a wonderful supper and their company!! 

March 11, 2019 today was meet with Dr. T the breast surgeon. My appointment thankfully was early so Glen took me then went to work afterwards. wow...….so much info, so many decisions, so many different things to consider and to remember and process. Dr. T talked about our options and the reasons why we would consider a double mastectomy but reassured us in the end it was our decision and they would honor our choice should we decide to only do treatment and not a mastectomy, however she did make sure we understood the likelihood of going through this all over again because of the genetic diagnosis if we decided not to have a mastectomy. we told her we had already made up our minds that we were going with the double mastectomy, she reassured us that as unfortunate as this is, we were making the right call considering the diagnosis. so then it was on to discuss all the options of reconstruction after and the recuperation and therapy time and deciding what size I now want to be and whether we were going to choose nipples or no nipples and the option of nothing at all or tattoo life like details or bring fatty tissue from my back forward to sculpt new boobs or take off fatty tissue from my behind, and those reconstruction surgeries take 8 or more hours with a lot more recovery time or do silicone and do you want to go bigger or smaller or just none at all, and then we need to discuss the lymph nodes and removal of 2 main ones for biopsy as a precaution during surgery and if they come back clear as they expect they will since the one questionable one was tested and came back clear, however if it wouldn't come back clear then they remove most or all lymph nodes and that will require longer surgery and different therapy and also either way you will be sent home with drains out both sides and you will have to empty and measure and keep a log book of all of it to make sure theres no fluid retention or infection and oh what size would you like and here is a pair of "knitted Knockers" you will bring these along to surgery to put inside a special tight compression like bra we will give you protect the surgery site from any kind of rubbing or bumping and this will require at least one maybe 2 nights in the hospital...….I got packets of info and appointments and care instructions and a Lymphadema test and muscle excercises and so much more, I cant even begin to cover all the info that was handed our way....it. was. so. very. overwhelming. surgery is set for July 9, 2019...… I thought I was good, but once in the car and headed home the tears started and wouldn't stop, it all felt so mountainous, I guess in my accepting the fact that surgery was our only option I had made up my mind that it is what is and didn't look back but also didn't face the reality of how involved of a surgery and how much decisions would need made on so many levels, nor did I let myself process and accept the fact that literally 8 months or more of 2019 are planned for me, out of my control, I felt so selfish on the one hand that it bothered me and yet so cheated out of having a say in how I want to spend my life and my time. Glen was encouraging and helped me remember that we weren't sure we'd get this far at one point and now we were through phase 1 of treatment and getting ready to start the next and we have a huge support and prayer group and all that we need to think about right now is today and doing what needs done today. 

March 12, 2019 Today I was feeling pretty good, I had some errands that needed running so I got those out of the way and stopped for a Sophia snuggle then came home and rested. Got a box full of love and sweetness from my Sara and her dear Frank from NYC felt like a warm hug across the miles!! 

March 13, 2019 this morning the girls and I went for breakfast then the long awaited day of catching up with an absolutely precious friend arrived!! it's been over a year since Sarah and I got to hang out and do life together, since they moved west, and when she messaged me last week and said there's a chance she can get a short trip east in to spend a day or two with her daughter Heidi and a day with me, I could hardly let myself hope it would happen, but, God worked it out and I am so very thankful, it was precious, precious moments together, didn't let myself think about how much I really missed her until I saw her then it hit and the tears flowed..... the day felt like it ended way to soon but was so very blessed and grateful to have been given this gift, there's not much more dear on earth than those life long friends that you are gifted with, where, when you finally get moments together it's like no time has passed between visits and you pick up and connect right where you left off!!!

thankyou to all who again filled my mailbox with cards and encouragement!! it is seriously one of the best antidotes to cheer and strength to put the next foot forward!! 

GOD IS IN HER, SHE WILL NOT FALL!!!