Cancer.....Continued

so the biopsy was done on Friday, then the waiting began, the each dreaded day till news of what the biopsy found, we volley between calm and tears, peace and turmoil, ready to tackle, ready to run, ready for armoring up and moving on and the want to shut down and shut out!
December 15, 2018 this evening we went on a double date for an over due birthday dinner out for Glen with our local besties Wayne and Miriam, was a great eve. with wonderful food and fabulous company and the chance to let all the ugly behind and enjoy the moment and celebrate another year with my man.

December, 16, 2018 woke up this morning feeling heavy and irritable and unnerved. how does one tell the church family where they attend this kind of news, doesn't feel like the thing you put on a social media page or one that you let each one find out about here and there thru bits and pieces along the way. but, I don't speak well, I can't keep my words in a straight organized articulate line and what does come out usually gets sideswiped in a torrent of salty waves. by the time we were ready to leave for church I was at peace and felt like God was saying, wait, wait to see how the Sunday school teacher opens the class, wait for calm and the right invitation then tell in person, let them in, let them share in this hard life stuff. so began Sunday worship and then Sunday school, after everyone settled dear Mrs. Goldie says how she would love to hear about everyone's week, what are hearts are full of or rejoicing over or what's been difficult etc. (paraphrasing there a bit maybe but can't remember quite word for word) needless to say I felt like this is the wait for the right time God had prepared me for and thankfully as He is known to do, He gave me calm almost tearless presentation of the mountain in my life, after an awkward silence, which I so could relate to having been there earlier when I found out the news myself, Stephanie came over and laid hands on me and others reached out and we had a lovely time of prayer and committing this whole nightmare to God, it was beautiful and I was glad to have it out there for more prayer warriors to join forces with me. Our dear besties Gary and Paula and their miss J came and spent the day, was so good to catch up and hang out and be distracted, then the besties around the corner Brent and Miranda came over with all manner of yummys for dinner, so the day that started out heavy and wearying ended in laughter and a renewed sense of I can get through this and I got support and prayer and soul friends that wont let us walk this alone!

December 17,2018 waiting on the Dr. to call with results is torture!!!!! Miranda came and picked me up this morning then we met up with Paula, Beth, and Laura for pedis then got take out to enjoy back at Miranda's house so I didn't have to face the Dr. call alone, but, we didn't get the call however it was such a lovely way to spend the day and to not sit through it alone and make it seem even longer. Laura took me home and we picked up my girls and dropped Em off at work then we picked her girls up and went to Pizza Hut for girls supper out to use Ava's reading reward.

December 18,2018 Emily and I were gearing up to do some last minute Christmas shopping and get outta the house a bit when I got called into work so I decided to do that and take the girls shopping after Ava got off of school. was good to go be with co workers and keep my mind and hands busy awhile. unfortunately that would be the time the Dr. decides to call with the official biopsy results. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma!!!! was so thankful Miriam works the at the same place on the same day, we hugged and cried, dried our tears and made up our minds that we can do this together, it might not be easy but with each other and prayer and God and others the fight was on!! I left work at 3, came home to this gorgeous bouquet from a dear church friend Kaylene, the love and support from others is beyond priceless!!

I picked up my girls and we went shopping, we grabbed coffees and some fries and made little memories together in spite of. rounding a corner at Ross at the end of an isle I was stopped short by a canvas reading, GOD IS WITHIN HER, SHE WILL NOT FALL PSALM46:5 it immediately became my verse!! I felt like God had handed me a love note right there!! I had been messaging some struggles to my friend Susan right before that so I sent her another one with a pic of the canvas and said even now, God is going before me, i'm gonna be ok, I'm gonna be able to walk this, she said, you had better have gotten that!!! I most certainly did!!

 on our way home I pulled over for a bit cause my Uncle Willie and Aunt Judy called to pray with me and curse the dreaded disease, it was beautiful and so meaningful to have them reach out and share their love and support!!
December 19, 2018 another day of what feels a bit like putting in time till the next step, wanting to hurry up and move forward yet wanting to pull back and wait, I was thankful to work again today to keep busy and be around others that are encouraging and supportive. My mama and sister Jess came by for a while with a delicious pot of soup and fresh fruit cake bread, family becomes even more precious at times like these.
so long until the next installment, want to get caught up here so I can just update recent but enough of sitting in front of a screen right now......