One of my devotional sights had this thought the other day and I keep mulling over it, because it's so true, and because it brought me up short on the fact that to often if I'm not whining about my struggles, then I'm just silent, and instead of either of those I should be choosing worship and praise in spite of, but, the reality is, it is beyond hard to not only choose to sing, but when there is pain constantly at the for front of all movement and breathing, to choose to sing with a smile and with gratefulness, even if, because at the end of the day, I still have a voice, and breath, and have conquered with God's mercy and grace, yet another day, another day closer to the end of this battle, this season!!
May 9, 2019 Chemo treatment #9 Today my beautiful niece Kate was my chauffer. was very special to have a day together as it is a rare occasion just the 2 of us hang out. my counts were still a bit low so the Dr. wants the injections to continue. For some reason this time around about 45 minutes till the end of infusion I reacted to something and got intense low back pain, they kept an eye on it and when I stood to move around to go to the bathroom it lessened somewhat, but I was sent home with instructions to be tuned into it and if it would get worse or feel it's not leaving anytime soon I need to call in and consult with the Dr. Pretty much till I got home and rested a bit it went away. They have been putting cooling socks with ice packs on my feet also during infusion and that has helped tremendously with not only the neuropathy, but also with the restless twitchy legs during infusion!!
This evening was sharing sister night at church. Miranda and I went together, it's one time I am thankful for a bag of fresh steroids, there's usually no sleep in sight after a treatment, so I was still wide awake and able to take in the evening and enjoyed every minute of it. We had delicious soups and breads and Charcuterie boards of delightful bits of this and that!! The talk was on friendships and angels and answered prayers. This was the dessert board I signed up to take.
May 10, 2019 Today after work Em took me and I did a few errands than went for my injection. It was a massive down pour as we left Kohl's so she didn't feel comfortable driving so I did, I tell you chemo brain is definitely a thing, and driving is not the best thing for one with that affliction to do. she was planning to be my designated driver the entire trip but with the deluge of rain then the stop and go traffic on 81 her nerves and only 6 month driving left her feeling a bit quaky so I thought I could manage, thankfully those angels we heard about last evening are very real and present and probably keep us from harm and danger far oftener than we know, but, suddenly I was jolted awake to find myself crossed over the yellow lines on a curve on Steeltown road headed straight for the guide rails, there was a semi behind me but no one thankfully coming the other way and I was able to pull myself back together and continue home, very much wide awake at that point, though Em continued to doze. I had to admit that as hard as it is to rely on others who are busy and have a life this is why they say no driving is recommended, and to bring someone with you for that, made me extremely grateful all over again for my tribe, my lovely support group of willing chauffeurs and helpers!!
May 11, 2019 today we spent a good part of the day meandering through the Mother's day event I had hoped to set up at this year, there was lots of beautiful crafts and small businesses and yummy food. there was also lots of friends to catch up with and hang out with. After we left Glen took me to my cousins nursery and picked out a tree for mother's day for the front corner of the house, it was a beautiful native smoke tree.
May 12, 2019 Happy Mother's Day!!!!! Today my sister Angie had the whole family over for the day, we were hoping to get a family picture taken but it poured rain all day, but we still had a lovely time being together. I so enjoyed hanging out in the rocking chair just lovin' on my niece Sophia, I don't get to snuggle her as often as I'd like with my schedule and exhaustion so it felt good to eat her up a bit. Am so thankful to still have my mama for mother's day, it's almost 25 years since her brain aneurysm, and so thankful my sister Angie was able to host mother's day, it's going on 2 years since her brain aneurysm, and I'm beyond thankful to be mama to one married, one in heaven one about to drive solo and one about to graduate kindergarten, talk about livin' life on all spectrums!!
May 13, 2019 today was another injection day, and as tired as I am of the dreary rainy days, today I was very grateful, cause it brought my hubby home from work early and allowed him to take me for my appointment, while Brandon saw that Em got picked up from her Keystone exams and delivered to work and Ava was cared for till we got home.
May 14, 2019 today was a girls day for our tribe at Laura's, with movies and doughnuts and a delicious lunch and soaking up all being together for a rare few hours. we all decided it needs to happen oftener for the sake of all our sanities, what a tremendous blessing to have real heart friends in ones corner!!
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