April 11, 2019...….Chemo treatment #5 today my dear friend Julia brought me a delicious Starbucks beverage and toted me to my appointment. one thing about having to spend hours in a doctors office and infusion room it leaves lots of great moments to catch up whoever is brave and willing to be your side kick that day, and trust me we had a lot of laughs and catchup time, it was fabulous in spite of the reason for having to be there at all. Nurse Stacy was so impressed with how well I was doing and how my counts and bloodwork looked and thought it quite miraculous with all we have going on at home, she said, girl, you need a super woman cape, that's a lot for a healthy mama to take on let alone one that's fighting cancer on top of all the extra wedding, and kindergarten and soccer and licensing 16year old stuff and just normal life duties!!!! I told her I'd pass on the cape and be grateful to remain upright and mobile, with minimal side effects and no pain and extreme exhaustion to see my son get married!!
Friday, April 12, 2019..... my day was planned, finally a long over due catch up date with my Susan, seems like forever since we were in each other’s presence and was so looking forward to hashing life and soaking up moments, we both have been dealing with a rearrangement of our lives due to health stuff and the times to catch up are few and way to far between, but we both understand that it is indeed life and try and roll with the madness while still having each other’s backs. Well, good morning miss Ava.....wait, not so good a morning, and not going to school after all, sore throat, earache, head ache and curling up in many fuzzy blankets and going back to bed was the only thing on her agenda, so, again, life hits and my plans scrapped and the day rearranged, but, it’s ok, mostly, little miss needs mama and meds and snuggles. So I get her settled and do some odds and ends around the house and then remember I need to pick up an order from my sister across the way and furniture delivery is this afternoon and still a couple odds and ends to wrap up before the weekend and bridal shower etc. so after a few hours with Ava and making sure she’s comfy and not needy or in pain anymore, I leave Em in charge and go do errands. En-route to my first stop I decide I should wash the car so zip down a side street only to find the car wash is out of service, so then figure well I guess I'll just keep going on this street and be on my way. I come to the stop sign and this little slightly hunched toddly white haired granny peers through the windshield oddly at me as she steps off the sidewalk in front of me and proceeds to slowly amble her way across intersection staring at me the whole time and then came around to my window. I warily rolled down the window to hear her asking if by any chance I'm Going by Saylor’s market, she needs a ride to the little convenient store right past there to catch the county transportation bus, I apologized and said no I'm Not going that way, so she thanked me and went back to her post at the stop sign. As I drove off I looked in my rear view and saw her step off the curb to approach the next victim and thot, hello, Janette, you may not be going that way but really would it harm you to drive a mile there and bless her and then retrace a mile knowing she made it safely, I mean you have a plethora of people blessing you these days and helping in many and varied amazingly wonderful ways, surely you could pass on the good deed!! So after I held a convincing dialogue in my own noggin I didn’t let myself talk myself out of it and impulsively turned down the next street and made a block back to where she was again inquiring of a random vehicle with no success, so I again opened my window and yelled, ma’am I can’t wait there to return you back here but I can at least take you there safely before I move on with my day, none of my stuff has an appointment time, just odd stuff needing my attention. She crawled in the passenger side and was ever so grateful and proceeded to tell me all about how her grandson took her to NY/NJ recently to a wrestling game of her favorite wrestler she’s dreamed of seeing in real life for a very long time and how afterwards there was 38,000 people standing in the rain waiting for the subway. That was the extent of our time together, I dropped her at the mini mart, and after thanking me many times over, she slowly and shakily removed her bent and wrinkled form from my car and we bade one another goodbye and continued on with our day. That will probably be the only time our paths ever cross, and does it even matter?? I don’t know, and probably will never need to know, but one thing I am learning more and more is that our lives truly are not our own and everything is finely tuned and orchestrated by God, and that it is all for a bigger purpose and creation of something more amazing and beautiful then we could ever fathom, and there will more than likely be most times that we wont even see or understand it at the time or maybe even in this life time, but after going on my way, I made my first stop at Wally World for a few things then decided while I’m there I’m gonna run into T.J. For a few things, and as I rounded an isle I looked up and there to my surprise was my dear Auntie Lois minding her own business, so I said, hey, I know youuuuu!!!! 😋 and her head pops up and we both laugh crazily and exchange hugs then stood there for a nice long chat, it was so special and such a fun surprise and day brightener!! Then on my way home I stopped at my sisters for my food stuff and then headed home to furniture delivery. As I thought about my day later and how sad I was to scrap my original plans I thot about how if that wouldn’t have fallen through and if I wouldn’t have been detained by a street wondering frail lil old lady, Auntie and I more than likely wouldn’t have been at the same place at the same time, and could we have both finished out the week and been blessed and happy, absolutely, but it sure was good to share a few moments of life stuff and encourage each other on. So in mulling over this whole idea of how to roll with life and be ok to adapt and embrace and live in the moment no matter what, I've Become more determined than ever since then to be ok with rearrangements and embrace them looking for the good and the sunshine moments and ways to bless someone else or help them on there way or through their day.
April 13, 2019.....today was a do only what needed done type of day and catch up on rest and odds and ends. This evening Glen and I got away briefly for a dinner out and ice-cream at the Igloo double date with Wayne and Miriam, was great to forget about chemo and food prep and wedding details for just a bit!!
Sunday April 14, 2019....Today was bridal shower day, so exciting to see the stuff given to start a new life together and set up house with. It's all becoming very real and coming down to the wire!!
I must Close this for now and go take care of daily life stuff, or as much as my numb cold toes and drippy throbbing fingers will allow, one thing about a cancer diagnosis and treatment is, there are so very many odd grievances and hurts on appendages etc. that we take for granted will just work and co-operate that when they don't it's miserable and debilitating. I keep telling myself it's just for a season...….some days.....the season feels eternal.
GOD IS IN HER SHE WILL NOT FALL!!
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